20 January 2017

Habits I've Picked Up From Lolita

This week's Lolita Blog Carnival topic is to talk about habits picked up from Lolita. While I can easily think of ways my life has changed because of the fashion, it was more difficult and interesting to think of habits specifically.

1. Need for matching

Because I got into jfashion pretty early on in my style development, it has definitely influenced how I pick out my outfits. Even with my normal, every-day clothes I have picked up the habit of consciously coordinating every little aspect of my outfit to make sure it matches. Nowadays, you'll rarely see me in something that doesn't match. 

Not only has Lolita helped me develop my personal style and a more composed way of actually putting good-looking outfits together, but colors and textures are also on point!

2. Saving money towards big purchases

I actually got my first job solely to pay for Lolita. I've been fortunate to be able to live with my parents throughout university, so most of my paychecks since I turned 16 has gone to either food or clothes. Like a lot of middle class kids, I got an allowance which I spent on trivial things like going to the movies with my friends or getting something cute.

It wasn't until I got a real job and wanted to buy brand that I learned how to save. As you well know, it is hard to pass up small pleasures when you're trying to save up for something larger down the road. However, this skill and habit of constantly saving a portion of any money I receive has definitely helped me in real life and in acquiring the Lolita wardrobe I have now.

3. Admiring small details and quality of craftsmanship

One pretty common habit I hear from a lot of Lolitas is that once you've been in the fashion for a while, you tend to prefer quality over quantity in other areas of your life as well. 

My current significant other once commented how he found it strange that he was actually interested in my jewelry collection because "most girls only care about the stones" while I had such an assortment of odd shapes and intricate details. Ignoring the comment itself, he made a point. Lolita is largely about the small details in the fabric, trim, and prints. Throughout my development of making better matching and creative coordinates, I've collected a lot of different accessories that I take pride on the quality and detail.

In addition to fashion, I've ascribed to the philosophy that it is better to spend more money on quality than buy something cheap that you'll replace soon. This has helped me not waste money on things I don't need and won't last.

4. Doing my makeup

Just like the habits for matching and saving money, doing my makeup is a habit that is hard to separate from Lolita because of when I started wearing the fashion.

Doing my makeup, hair, and wearing jewelry all began when I got into Lolita. While a lot of us like to say that being yourself in your clothes is the most important, there is definitely a lot of pressure to wear makeup and invest a lot in personal grooming. 

For me, I think this was a good habit because it has helped me feel more comfortable in my skin as an adult. Makeup is both a creative outlet and a way to combat laziness and depression for me. If I maintain the habit of grooming myself each morning, I feel more productive and less like a slob still wearing my pajamas days at a time.

5. Photographing moments

Growing up as a millennial, I've come from a strange transitional background when it comes to technology. I didn't have a phone and still used disposable film cameras until middle school. I took photos of the most random things growing up. I recently found several of just a gray area with a bright spot - I think I was trying to take photos of fireworks...

When I started wearing Lolita, I wanted to document my outfits so I could share them online for coordinating advice and to look back on later for future outfit inspiration. The more invested I got in the online/social aspect of the fashion, the more photos I took of outfits, meetups, and selfies with new friends.

Now I have thousands of photos on my iPhone and several hundred more on my DSLR that I bring with me to events and trips. I can look back and see both important moments in my life and smaller but just as memorable moments.

What habits have you picked up from Lolita or other jfashions?

Other blogs who participated:
Darkly Darling

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14 January 2017

What Lolita Has Taught Me About Relationships

If you've been into Lolita for a fair amount of time, you have probably noticed that your outlook on life has changed in little or big ways. I see this in how I save and spend my money, who my friends are and how I socialize, how I see quality, and many other perspectives. Lolita has also taught me a thing or two about relationships. In the very least, it helped me realize something very important in successful relationships.

While I won't go into much detail, I recently split from a long-term relationship and got into a new one. It's been a rough winter so far, but I'm doing alright emotionally.

During some self-reflection about what was going wrong in my relationship and why it hadn't been working for a long time, I realized that Lolita played a subtle but pivotal role in highlighting some of our problems.

  1. I know I'm comfortable with my significant other when I can wear Lolita out with them. As someone with mild social anxiety, those new-relationship butterflies aren't always pleasant. In all of my relationships, I notice I wear Lolita out with them when I finally feel comfortable. When it feels real, and I know they are here to stay. If you're debating whether to wear it out with your S.O. maybe use your first public Lolita outing together as an indicator if you feel comfortable with them. Sort of like when you go without make-up in front of them or let them see you cry for the first time.
  2. I know they love me if they can put up with Lolita-induced stress. I've had serious freak-outs over the dumbest of things - like having to cancel on a meet because I left my petti at home an hour away and getting anxiety because of bad traffic on the way - and it really means a lot when my S.O. doesn't think I'm crazy. Having someone who recognizes your feelings and doesn't label you as the "psycho girlfriend" trope because a fashion style stresses you out is nice. It's important to know they have your back even for trivial matters that somehow grind your gears.
  3. Even if they don't like Lolita, they need to still support it. This one is the most significant epiphany I had. If my S.O. likes Lolita or even wants to try out boy-style to match me, that is certainly a bonus! However, even if they don't like the fashion for whatever reason, it is important they still respect my passion and keep their complaints to themselves. This is important because it reflects how they will treat your other hobbies, interests, and beliefs in life. Couples don't have to agree on everything, but they need to be able to respect and support each other.
These are just a few of my inner thoughts and reflections on my relationships and Lolita fashion. I hope that this helps you see the dynamic between the fashion and your S.O. or at least gave you a small insight into my life.

Photo from the internet, original source unknown.

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07 January 2017

Lolita Goals For 2017

It is practically obligatory for lolita bloggers to post some kind of New Year's Resolutions post this time of year. The reason why? Because it is super helpful and motivating to document your goals for the next year in the hopes you don't forget them in a month. Self-improvement is a good thing for fashion too!

Taking the idea from Cupcake Kamisama, I wanted to create a list of SMART goals this year instead of vague, easy-to-forget hopes. Using Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound goals will hopefully help me reach where I want to be this coming year.

  • Cull my dress down to comfortably fit into my one big wardrobe and post it all for sale by the end of the month. Because of life events and a major room reorganization, I now have less space to store my lolita than ever and more dresses than can fit without dangerously smooshing them into one another. I need to let some dresses go that I've been hoarding onto for years without really wearing them (like Honey Cake, which I don't want to sell because it was my first brand dress but just really isn't my style anymore) and let my friends buy items they're interested in unless I feel strongly about keeping something.
  • Resist browsing Lacemarket at all. I always seem to find something I really want whenever I go there, but I need to spend less and save up for dream dresses. Thanks to Lacemarket's handy tool for search alerts, I can easily stick to this goal by only going on LM when my emails bings me about a message/buyer or when someone lists a dress I'm looking for specifically.
  • Film and post at least two videos a month. Somehow 2016 was a major creative block for my Youtube channel and I was barely posting one a month. Usually these were only hauls or event vlogs. Excepting this January because of personal chaos, I want to slowly try to get back into making videos again.
  • Wear Lolita at least once a week. Again, like filming, I was not very good at wearing Lolita out and about. I have so many pretty things and rarely get to wear them out!
What are your goals for 2017?

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